Wow ! First two months at Microsoft just passed in the blink
of an eye. I must say, so far it has been a mixed experience. Initial few days
were quite tough. Right from getting out of my comfort zone and meeting new
people to completely different environment; things were complicated. I was
really not feeling that much comfortable as I had anticipated. Probably, that’s how the transition phase
feels like J.The most difficult thing for me was to get acquainted with company’s jargon and
acronyms (although, the problem persists, but the pain has sort of mitigated J). In meetings, people
used to talk in some sort of cryptic language. One good morning, I shared my
problem with a developer working over there; he consoled me and replied, “Yeah,
it’s really difficult out here in first few months because of TLAs, but eventually
things will get better”, and went. Mother of God ! He didn’t even realize that
he slapped me with yet another acronym to figure out. L With some effort I figured
out that TLA actually was “Three Letter Acronym”. What the fuck dude ! Even "acronym" is represented as an acronym here. The floodgates were opened; I was
overwhelmed with more and more of them – OSI, OSP, OBD, SOP, KPI, EDS, OAM,
blah blah blah. People work here a lot and I felt really bad to ping my
mentor/manager for such silly stuffs. Many a times, after a particular meeting, I was able to figure out what actually people were discussing about in some
previous meeting happened 2 days before. It was difficult for me connect the
dots.
Something was not right, somewhere in my hindsight I had a
nagging feeling that I was not completely me, and this was preventing me from
developing to my own genius. I tried really hard, read whatever was given to
me, learn whatever I was supposed to; but still during the discussion with my
mentor I used to draw a blank. As a Program Manager, you are supposed to think
in a holistic way, think from all perspective and in addition to that think out
of box; but probably I was not able to do that. Sometimes, when I tried to
delve deeper, I was stymied by my inexperience (in terms of knowledge) and when
I tried to be superficial, reality struck me hard. I was not able to demarcate
a boundary as to from where a Program Manager should stop transgressing into a
Developer’s area. Another major problem was my hesitation, which really was
taking its toll on me. I took the help of my fellow classmate, Atishay, only.
Unfortunately, you have to break your back to get some extra words out of his
mouth. Tough luck ! And on the other hand confusions and
must-required-clarifications kept piling up. I had very little work to do
because, whatever I didn’t understand was getting piled up in my “to-do-list”
and supposedly never coming out of there. I was feeling suffocated.
But, something helped me break all the shackles and respire
freely once again. We all Program Managers have a weekly sync-up with our senior
managers. I found the opportunity apt enough and made no bones about my situation
to my manager. I vented out my frustration, vocalized my feelings and helped
him understand how it is getting difficult for an engineering student, fresh
out of college, to fit into the shoes of a manager. I bared my heart to him
about the problem I was facing and the predicament I was caught into. He told
me two very good sentences and that has become my talisman from that point
onwards.
1. People will say many things to you, never get discouraged.
2.
Now is the time to act stupid. Don’t be ashamed of being stupid and ask silly
questions now.
These lines are not something which are very abstruse or I
could never have thought of. But it worked as a charm for me. Sometimes, even a
run-of the-mill statement coming out of from an elder has the power of magic
wand. In a completely unknown environment, when someone make you feel that
he/she cares for you and is there to watch your back, it bolsters your tattered
confidence. I felt the same. These two simple sentences worked as a power-booster
for me. Last 2-3 weeks have been amazing. I understood that acting smart by not
asking people, even the things you don’t know, is not gonna help. Be stupid, period. That’s the only way
out, that’s the only way I am gonna learn. No one is gonna feel bad if I ask
utterly naive questions right now. But beyond this “honeymoon period”, if I ask
those questions, people will notice.
Now, I have started getting involved with team. Not just
Atishay, I go, ask and clarify my doubts from whoever available. The feeling
when people starts coming to you for help is really nice; it makes you feel
your worth. You start putting an extra yard when you start working for others,
not just yourself. It gives immense pleasure and an inexplicable satisfaction (at
least to me J).
My attitude has taken a volte-face and I feel really nice. Workload
has definitely increased. Next week we are having a release. The things are
crazy right now. Everyone is leaving no stones unturned to deliver the best
product possible. The next quarter is gonna be even crazier. With 6 feature
crews assigned to me, it’s not gonna be a smooth ride. But wait ..... who the hell
wants that! Where
is the fun in life if it is devoid of challenges? Bring it on dude, I am up for
it. J